


Ad Finem

by Nagaina



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: CW: Implications of Sexiness, Contains No Actual Sex, Just Sweet and Somewhat Disturbing Sap, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:28:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21599335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nagaina/pseuds/Nagaina
Summary: On the white throat of the useless passionThat scorched my soul with its burning breath,I clutched my fingers in murderous fashion,And gathered them close in a grip of death;For why should I fan, or feed with fuel,A love that showed me but blank despair?So my hold was firm, and my grasp was cruel--I meant to strangle it then and there!I thought it was dead.  But with no warning,It rose from its grave last night, and cameAnd stood by my bed till the early morning,And over and over it spoke your name.Its throat was red where my hands had held it,It burned my brow with its scorching breath;And I said, the moment my eyes beheld it,"A love like this can know no death."
Relationships: Axel/Roxas (Kingdom Hearts)
Kudos: 3





	Ad Finem

**Author's Note:**

> Written an aeon ago for a video game prompt community. To wit: 
> 
> Challenge: Axel/Roxas. All we have is each other.
> 
> Title and artsy summary from the poem by Ella Wheeler Wilcox
> 
> http://famouspoetsandpoems.com/poets/ella_wheeler_wilcox/poems/17316

The Flurry of Dancing Flames was only truly still in his sleep – and catching Axel asleep was a matter of luck as much as timing. He never seemed to sleep as much as he should, or even as much as he needed, the act of closing his eyes a gesture of vulnerability he was loath to make. Given the poisonous nature of the Organization’s interpersonal dynamics, it was probably even a wise decision to make. Roxas had watched him sleep more than once, and knew the honor for what it was. Trust, a precious commodity rendered even more valuable by the circumstances in which it was extended. More than once, he’d drifted off to rest in Axel’s wiry-muscular arms, pressed close against his warm body, and known himself safe and protected.  
  
Trust. The first of life’s many little lessons.  
  
He sat watching now, his back to the broad window that looked out over the Dark City, the pale silver light shed by the World-Heart falling over his shoulders like a cloak, washing what little color there was from his skin. The shaft of radiance didn’t quite reach all the way across the room, but it did reach the bed, turning the man laying there into a study in contrasts, moon-whitened skin and sharp-edged shadows, his wild mane of fiery hair nearly black in the darkness, limbs lying at almost unnatural angles. Axel had a positively feline way of taking up more space than he should possibly be able to, given how slender he was, particularly on the bed. More than half the time, Roxas gave up trying to claim an equal share of pillows, mattress, and covers, and just slept half on top of him, which might have been the goal all along. Axel also tended to have a somewhat sidelong way of getting exactly what he wanted at any given time.  
  
Tonight, Roxas was tired, and wanted nothing more than to be burrowed into the sheets next to him, head pillowed on his shoulder or arm or chest, tangled together warm and comfortable. He wasn’t, bone-weary, soul-fatigued though he was, his thoughts kept chasing themselves in circles and if they weren’t getting any rest, neither was he. Mostly, he was wondering how to do it.  
  
Cool rationality suggested that he might never have a better time than now. It would be a simple thing, quick and clean – call Oblivion and strike, and he would never see it coming, never know what hit him, or who. Painless. Permanent. Abstractly, Roxas even knew it would be kinder that way, kinder than making him choose between the things he was loyal to, kinder than forcing the situation to the point of kill or be killed. Easier, by far, to just end it here and now, and leave tonight, and let the others waste time trying to figure out what had happened and how.  
  
He rose slowly and stretched, stiff from the cold by the window and having sat so long while his thoughts wore grooves in his mind and will. His footsteps made no sound on the bare floor as he approached, his shadow shortening as he came closer to the side of the bed. His lover slept on, trusting and unaware, as Oblivion’s hilt formed in his hand, its blade spun into existence, darkly beautiful and cold, so cold. Oblivion had tasted Axel once already and wanted to taste him again, wanted to plunge past the exquisite outer shell of him and into the brightly burning essence, wanted to quench the fire inside him with its own inexorable cold and scatter the ashes where they’d never be found. Desire so fierce it was almost physically palpable, humming from the tips of his fingers to the base of his spine, the blade almost raising itself.  
  
In sleep, Axel’s face was unguarded, absent the masks he wore for the others, the smile with edges on both sides, the lazy-eyed self-satisfied smirk that drove so many of them to fits of annoyance. In sleep, the set of his lips was gentler, almost sad, weariness and sorrow in the way his eyes lay closed, abetted by the painted illusion of tears. He looked like he’d cried himself to sleep and even then his dreams were mournful ones. Roxas wanted to scream at him to open his eyes, to sit up and catch his wrist in one long-fingered hand and snake an arm around his waist, pull him down and demand to know what he was thinking. And then he could tell him. He could tell him that he had to go. Axel had to suspect it by now – they’d talked about it more than once, talked about his absence of memory and what it meant, talked about the dreams he’d stared having and what they might mean. If he’d just wake up, Roxas could tell him that he had to go, that everything he needed to know about himself was waiting somewhere outside, but that he couldn’t go, couldn’t just go and leave him, couldn’t just go while there was something here he still needed and couldn’t take with him and then Axel would at least die understanding why.  
  
Oblivion trembled in his hand. Dissolved back into the darkness.  
  
Axel’s eyes flickered open at his lover’s hand touching his cheek. He might have been awake the whole time. His breathing hadn’t changed at all. His skin, under Roxas’ hand, was still slightly wet and his lips parted, but he didn’t speak. Instead, he reached up, caught Roxas’ cold hands in his much warmer grip, and pressed them to his lips. Drew him down, and caught him close.  
  
Roxas closed his eyes.


End file.
